Dear Vendor,

Your lack of short-term liquidity is a problem, but it's YOUR problem, not mine. Five minutes on the phone to your bank with a fucking calculator and you would have known this was coming more than two months ago. You have no business owning an investment property.

You don't need that much and it's not that difficult. Get your shit together, get a personal loan, max out a credit card, call your parents, give your bank manager a blowjob, and give me my fucking apartment already.

kthxbi,
G-Lo

I want a laptop.

Much as I'd love to just shell out for a Macbook Pro, I can't justify the expense for my purposes, so right now I'm thinking ASUS or Toshi.

I was going to wait for the Eee 901 Linux edition but they're not locally available yet and as far as ETAs go, ASUS' sales team couldn't find their own arse with both hands, the Marauders' Map, and a solemnly sworn oath that they're up to no good. That said, their other machines look decent, are available dirt-cheap from MSY, and appear to cop less flak than most as far as online whingefests go.

Suggestions? Advice? Horror stories? Linux hardware compatibility? Specific components to covet/avoid? Hit me.

I've started the Dune series but my usual 2nd hand book haunts are failing me, so can any of you wonderful souls lend me the following? T'would be much appreciated:

- Children of Dune
- God Emperor of Dune
- Heretics of Dune
- Chapterhouse Dune

I have found the best thing ever. Read it. It will make your life bright again. You can thank me later.

I work in Japan as an English teacher. While poking around in a local antiques shop, I came across a handwritten book in English. It was among a large selection of old books from the Meiji era, and the best guess I have is that it belongs to that era as well (sometime between 1860 and 1890). The book was missing many pages, but what was left were fragments of a play.

The Three Sisters, or The Mirror of Credulity: A Play in Five Acts

A taste:

OLD PETER: In my youth, before becoming a hermit, I graced the world of science! Yes, perhaps you have heard of my prowess spoken in whispers and legend. For I am the inventor of the piston!

WANHOPE: No! The one man in the world who wholly understands this great mystery of science! The one man who can enable and disable all pistonry with but a glance! It is impossible! I reject it! Fie! Fie!

OLD PETER: Nay! It is truth I speak! Behold, all your work is brought to nothing!

STEAMOVAK: (rumblings, a great explosion of steam)

WANHOPE: I swear! I shall seek out my revenge! Do not think that you or the Lovejoy sisters can hold out against me forever! I shall repossess their estate and deprive them of all love or joy! Attend to my departure, my manservants! (exit, accompanied by RUIN and DESPAIR)

Thank you, Wondermark.

Dark Knight. IMAX. Anyone interested?

Also Christian Bale has stated that he would rather do a documentary-style remake of The Machinist than allow a Robin character in the next Batman film. FTW.

For those of you who have been seeing those square barcode-like things popping up everywhere, they're called QR codes and despite Telstra's bullshit attempt to convince NextG subscribers that they aren't morons, you can find free reader software for just about any java-capable cameraphone over here.



Blame smacky_wolf for the following:

( QRCodes, fuckl yeah! )

Last one for today, promise.

Four words I never expected to hear: Verne Troyer sex tape.

There's a a little side-lesson with which the universe keeps tapping me on the shoulder, and I keep ignoring, or have possibly misunderstood. It seems to run along the lines of the more I talk up something cool that hasn't happened yet, the more likely it is to fall through at the last minute. So I should learn to keep my mouth shut. It's also entirely plausible that future cool shit has n chance of falling through anyway, but keeping my mouth shut probably isn't the worst idea in that case either, since I'll look like less of an idiot when it happens. Not talking really isn't a strong point for me though, and in the greater scheme of things, a retraction here and there is probably character-building.

So, the point, to which I was eventually going to come: both the sellers of my now-ex-new-sofa, and the prospective buyers of my current futon sofa have reneged on our respective deals, and I'm still really keen on getting new furniture for the apartment, so I need a Plan B.

I'll tell you what I want (what I really really want): LoveSacs! I'm thinking an 8-footer and a 5-footer with a couple of ottomans, but that might be overkill - I need to actually visit the store and get an idea of how much space these things take up. They look hell comfy though, and heaps more interesting than standard sofa type things. A trip to Fox Studios is in order, maybe tomorrow... If they don't look suitable then I'll start scoping around for actual sofas, but I like 'em =)

Also, is anyone interested in my futon? Queen size mattress with base, folds up into a 3- or 4-seater sofa but makes a very decent bed too. I paid around $800 for it about 3 years ago, hoping to get $200 with 2 covers - one black and one grey. Lemme know =)

“That chick’s as cold as the dead flesh of a stripping zombie."

Seriously, watch Zombie Strippers. It's awesome. You'll never guess what it's about.

Dear users,

With a heavy heart and quite severe back pain, we hereby announce the discontinuation of the Trashhouse Operating Environment, terminating at version 2.1. Modules will be spun off to new product lines as detailed:

- After a few minor logistical hiccups during extended migration, the Marrickwegian port of statichowl is reported up and running. Twittering functions have been confirmed operational, and expanded functionality will be depackaged as required.

- illdrinn has been successfully redeployed to AdultHouse 1.0, marking a return to the Leichhardtcore Network, and will be back online very soon. Expect a detailed feature update and release notes from the dasboy development team shortly.

- glittalogik is to be temporarily incorporated into the Betty Ford Clinic Interim Debug Environment for repackaging and RC2 testing prior to permanent incorporation into an as yet unnamed but exciting new proprietary platform. We will keep you posted, but expect significant outages as this module is offline after-hours until relaunch.

Signing Off,
The Trashhouse Executive Steering Committee

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal is many flavours of awesome.

Wow. Just... wow.



Courtesy No Regrets: The Best, Worst, & Most #$%*ing Ridiculous Tattoos Ever by Aviva Yael, P. M. Chen and David Cross.

Wow. Fuck. The next three weeks just became HECTIC-CORE.

For brevity's sake, insert approximately one to ten social and work engagements in, between and around each of the following, and that's my next month.

- Pack Trashhouse.
- Leave Trashhouse.
- Cry.
- Clean Trashhouse.
- Partially unpack @ temporary abode whilst detoxing Trashhouseness from my system (henceforth referred to as the Betty Ford Clinic).
- Perform at Transmission.
- Finish paying for apartment.
- Settle apartment.
- Repack.
- Move again.
- Unpack.
- Buy new furniture, homewares, &cetera.
- Fall down.
- Go boom.

I need a cigarette.

\(^_^)/

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,23819267-5006009,00.html

It is understood police will today be informed by the Director of Public Prosecutions that there is insufficient evidence to charge the Melbourne-based photographer. It is believed obscenity charges won't be laid as Crown prosecutors don't believe a case can be made against Henson.

According to reports in The Australian, NSW police will today be advised prosecution was unlikely on charges "for the production, dissemination or possession of child pornography" under sections 91H and 91G of the NSW Crimes Act.

It's also believed the federal police won't go ahead with other child pornography charges over 79 images owned by the National Gallery of Australia.

The photographs were assessed by the Australian Federal Police.

A spokesman last night said: "On the basis of that assessment, no breaches of ACT law relating to child pornography have been established."

It could still go to court if the police or the attorney-general ignore the crown and press ahead anyway, but this is a major step in the right direction.

While I'm still getting scorn heaped upon me for the piano yesterday, I may as well keep the ball rolling, although this is mostly for my own reference. You might remember how excited I was to find the bath of awesome, and thanks to phalnax I got to thinking about mods. So here's the deal.

LED faucets, like this one...



...are great and all, but I've got bigger ideas. So what I want is this 48-LED 3W 180-lumen red LED strip...



...in a faucet like this...



...resulting in possibly the pimpest bath ever. A bit of metalwork (probably by someone who knows what they're doing since I've never done any) and some careful sealing and I don't see any reason why it can't happen.

In case you were wondering, "because it's stupid" isn't a reason. True story.

One day, I'll have an atrium to put this in.